A Guide to being a Gentleman

These are things that one should learn if you are to call yourself a real man.
Feel free to disagree. I welcome it.
Remember that these are merely my opinions. They just happen to be correct. haha

1. Learn to tie a necktie
In three ways- Four in hand, windsor & half windsor. I will teach you.
Tying your necktie as a bow-tie doesn't make it a chic new over-sized bowtie. It makes you look like the douche who can't tie a real bowtie.
And as for neckties, the fat Diddy knot is unacceptable. If it resembles your fist, it's too damn big!

2. Hold the door
Even if a woman is liberated, she will still appreciate it. If one holds the door for a man, it doesnt make one less of a man. It makes one less of a douche.

3. Drink, but don't get drunk.
There's nothing worse than a public display of assholism.

4. Swear
But in moderation. It's good for #%&^# heart.

5. Never EVER EVER smoke anything!
Drugs are lame. Cigarettes/cigars can be sexy at times, but you are not Cary Grant. However, if you must smoke them, wear black pants to match your lungs. Thanks

6. Don't kiss and tell
One learns this as he grows. Not only women can be whores. Learn to keep it to yourself. No use bragging to your boys if he/she sends you to the clinic.

7. Send thank you cards
It's a custom that is lost among young people. I've learned the hard way that it means a lot to people to be thanked.

8. Respect your mother.
Even if she hasn't had the best maternal instincts, women notice how you treat her.

9. Call him/her. Don't text
I know that texting has become the best way to communicate, but is that the best way to tell someone that you've found someone else? Or that they are fired? Grow some gonads.

10. Choose your footwear wisely
Things have gotten more casual but there is never an appropriate setting to wear bulky tennis shoes with a suit. No matter what Justin Timberlake says.

11. French cuffs are not meant to be worn outside of the suit jacket.
Also, keep the collar tucked neatly under the lapels not on top of them. You are not a memeber of Dru Hill. (With all due respect to Sisqo)

12. A man should own at least two suits.
Black and any of the following colors- grey, charcoal, navy, or tan/khaki (summer only). No red please. I don't care if you are COGIC.

13. Always carry at least 40 dollars in cash.
You cant forget to tip the valet/bartender/server. They don't care one bit about your debit card. Speaking of tips... no less than 18%. Thanks

14. Lose the wallet.
Get a card carrying case or a clip. They're thinner and won't bulge in your back pocket. Unless for some reason you desire to draw attention to your ass...

15. Your CD case (or iPod) should consist of at least three genres of music.
And no that can't be gangsta rap, snap music, and crunk-n-B You will get more respect if that Jay-Z is followed by some Frank Sinatra or some Nina Simone.

16. Own at least on rap CD.
Preferably NaS, Lupe, Kanye, or Common. Soulja Boy doesn't count.

17. Learn to read phonetically in French, Spanish, Italian, and German.
That trip to the restaurant or the opera will be much more enjoyable if you don't order the "sawvignun blank" or tell your mate how much you loved "La Boheem".

18. Know the value of fresh flowers.
They aren't always for the dead or for apologies. They can make a room look/smell like a million bucks.

19. Put the phone away in social situations.
I have a problem with this but technology really has ruined our social skills.

20. Read!
Stay up on current events and know a little about literature. The Color Purple is more than a movie and the Wall Street Bailout had nothing to do with jail time.

21. Learn the value of a man bag
A satchel, a tote, a messenger bag, a laptop bag, a briefcase...whatever it may be. Leave that monogrammed L.L. Bean bag in the 8th grade. If a man bag makes you feel like less of a man, you need therapy.

22. Surround yourself with beautiful women.
And listen to them! You can learn a thing or to. If you are straight, it's always beneficial to have the company of a lovely woman. If not, where would a fag be without his hag?!

23. Learn the meaning of your name.
Your parents picked it for a reason. It's all you have. Also, choose your children's names wisely. Do you really want to see my sister's roll book? [shaking my head]

24. Watch a chick flick every now and then.
You need a good cry. If you hate them, they can teach you a thing or two about what to expect from your woman, or more importantly what she expects from you.

25. Pull your pants up!!!
Do you really know where sagging came from?

26. Take that Bluetooth or any type of earpiece out when you are not driving.It's not a good look to walk around looking like an extra from Star Trek, nor is it fun to have people think you are talking to yourself.

27. Don't let your sexuality completely define who you areStraight: Cut the 'no homo' crap. If you are comfortable with yourself, you can be who you are without it being a question.
Gay: There is no appropriate situation in which you can wear women's clothing and it not be for costume purposes. Bebe and Wet Seal make NOTHING for you.

28. Never hit a woman.
Even if you say she's putting herself in a man's place, don't hit her. Just push her really hard!!!! haha

29. Sunglasses + Inside = You looking like a total loser and poser.
Enough said.

30. PrayBecause it changes things